If You Want to Win at Life, You Must Win at Sea Kayaking.
Dubrovnik day 2 brought us all kinds of new adventures. Including my still being sick and the mister spilling a whole cup of Earl Gray down a light-colored wall and trying to clean it with toilet paper and my blow dryer. It worked as well as you can imagine.
We had booked a sunset sea kayaking trip, so we had the whole day to explore! Which meant buying prizes in Dubrovnik. There is this one street that has about 50 jewelry stores. 50 competing stores + people who want cheap jewelry = cheap jewelry because sellers have to compete with their neighbors...= very happy Brittney. Luckily, I have a very patient boyfriend who goes with me into every store so I can be sure that I find the perfect piece. So, after finding my perfect ring, we go to find him some ice cream, and I find A CHRISTMAS STORE! Yes. Very excited about that. I was going to buy an ornament but there weren't any cute ones. But, Prash found a Jesus ring with the Lord's Prayer on it that he needed. So that, my friends, is how the Jesus ring came to be. Well, there were also other reasons. But that's not important right now.
We got his ice cream and then went back to Štikovica to get ready for Sea Kayaking! I capitalized that to convey just how fantastic it was. Little known fact that when I was little, my parents would take me whitewater canoeing with my uncles. Were I not scared of drowning (almost happened once, it's not irrational) I probably would have enjoyed it more. But the ocean is better! It's mostly calm and sea kayaks are harder to tip over. I think.
Anyway, we park and go down all of the stairs to get to the beach and we meet the guide. When I say he was the Croatian Heath Ledger...I really mean that. He looked like Heath Ledger. I had to do a double-take. (Good thing I like brown boys, huh, Prash?) We were in line to check in and the guys in front of us were talking about gypsies and the check-in guy shouted, "GYPSIES ALL OVER THE PLACE THERE! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" He sounded just like Borat. It was amazing.
We get situated in our boat and paddle out. We went around the city walls and past the most expensive building in the world (I think that's what he said) It was some stupid amount of Euros per night, I can't remember. But anyway, it's a pretty building.
Halfway through our excursion, we stopped in a cave to have sandwiches and go snorkeling. I have never been snorkeling before. That being said, let me tell you about the time I almost drowned snorkeling, and the time Prash laughed at me when I almost drowned snorkeling. I just know realized that I referenced almost drowning twice in one post...Maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't participate in water sports.
Okay, so we get our masks and snorkels and head out. Prash figured out the physics of snorkeling a lot faster than I did. But my mask started filling up with water. So he tightened it for me, and it still happened. Then he traded with me and it still happened, but my old mask worked for him. So, apparently I have a stupid face. Let's just talk about the actual breathing part of snorkeling. I had some serious issues with knowing how deep I could go before my snorkel filled with water. After it happened several times I gave up and just decided to float on the top of the water...and overcompensated by sticking my backside really far in the air. Think the yoga crow pose, but while swimming...yes. It was as awkward as it sounds. Around that time, I quit while I was ahead and left the snorkeling to the Mister.
We got the 10-minute whistle, and took an obligatory photo...or 12. I like choices.
Because I like winning more than almost anything in the world, I decided that we had to lead everyone else in our group...because sometimes people don't paddle fast enough. I'm also going to take a moment to mention the Australian in our group. He had many tattoos to go with his insane sunburn. The reason I bring him up is because on one side of his ribs he tattooed the word "asshole". When asked why by one of the girls in our group, he said it was so people would know what they were getting. At least he was honest.
We paddled around the island of Lokrum. Because it's Halloween season and some people get into that, ghost story time! Lokrum is allegedly cursed. There was a huge fire in Dubrovnik in the year 1023 and the people who lived there made a vow to St. Benedict that they would build a monastery if the city was spared. The flames went out very quickly, so the inhabitants followed through, because who wouldn't when St. Benedict saves your city? Later, the French army ordered the monastery be closed, which is when the trouble began. The night before they had to leave the island they held one last Mass. The monks circled the island three times in a single file line with candles turned upside down leaving a trail of wax. They also chanted, "Whosoever claims Lokrum for his own personal pleasure shall be damned!" After the curse was in place, people who tired to live there started dying. One jumped from a window, one drowned, another was killed by a servant. During the day time it's apparently a beautiful place to visit full of botanical gardens, we didn't have time to make the trip. Many locals still claim that the island is cursed, and therefore tell tales of people who visited in the nights and never returned.
Furthermore, there is also a nudist beach on the island. Which brings me to my next story. We were paddling around the island, enjoying the scenery, and I look up and see a large, old, saggy man-butt. Because I wasn't wearing my glasses, I made Prash look. I was right. THEN! The old man turned around, to which I audibly gasped in disgust...yeah, apparently we were closer to the island than we thought because he heard me and I looked away quickly. Very quickly.
We paddled back to shore (we won!). They gave us complimentary wine because it's Croatia and they throw the stuff at you there. We also got the most delicious sandwich probably ever. It was the size of a dinner plate with grilled chicken, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, ketchup, tomatoes, pickles, and corn of all things. Let me just tell you that I still dream of that sandwich. Dream. of. it. I have to stop thinking about it right now because it's going to make me sad. Moving on!
It was a long day so we spent the night in. We were going to watch tv, but when Tom and Jerry wouldn't come in, all we were left with was weird Croatian pregnant-lady phone porn? I mean..it was very confusing. So. No tv for us!
The next day was our last full day in Croatia, which is so sad. Because Croatia was amazing. But we'll get to that.
We had booked a sunset sea kayaking trip, so we had the whole day to explore! Which meant buying prizes in Dubrovnik. There is this one street that has about 50 jewelry stores. 50 competing stores + people who want cheap jewelry = cheap jewelry because sellers have to compete with their neighbors...= very happy Brittney. Luckily, I have a very patient boyfriend who goes with me into every store so I can be sure that I find the perfect piece. So, after finding my perfect ring, we go to find him some ice cream, and I find A CHRISTMAS STORE! Yes. Very excited about that. I was going to buy an ornament but there weren't any cute ones. But, Prash found a Jesus ring with the Lord's Prayer on it that he needed. So that, my friends, is how the Jesus ring came to be. Well, there were also other reasons. But that's not important right now.
We got his ice cream and then went back to Štikovica to get ready for Sea Kayaking! I capitalized that to convey just how fantastic it was. Little known fact that when I was little, my parents would take me whitewater canoeing with my uncles. Were I not scared of drowning (almost happened once, it's not irrational) I probably would have enjoyed it more. But the ocean is better! It's mostly calm and sea kayaks are harder to tip over. I think.
Anyway, we park and go down all of the stairs to get to the beach and we meet the guide. When I say he was the Croatian Heath Ledger...I really mean that. He looked like Heath Ledger. I had to do a double-take. (Good thing I like brown boys, huh, Prash?) We were in line to check in and the guys in front of us were talking about gypsies and the check-in guy shouted, "GYPSIES ALL OVER THE PLACE THERE! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" He sounded just like Borat. It was amazing.
We get situated in our boat and paddle out. We went around the city walls and past the most expensive building in the world (I think that's what he said) It was some stupid amount of Euros per night, I can't remember. But anyway, it's a pretty building.
 |
| It's almost spelunking. |
Okay, so we get our masks and snorkels and head out. Prash figured out the physics of snorkeling a lot faster than I did. But my mask started filling up with water. So he tightened it for me, and it still happened. Then he traded with me and it still happened, but my old mask worked for him. So, apparently I have a stupid face. Let's just talk about the actual breathing part of snorkeling. I had some serious issues with knowing how deep I could go before my snorkel filled with water. After it happened several times I gave up and just decided to float on the top of the water...and overcompensated by sticking my backside really far in the air. Think the yoga crow pose, but while swimming...yes. It was as awkward as it sounds. Around that time, I quit while I was ahead and left the snorkeling to the Mister.
 |
| My Mister is a stud. |
Because I like winning more than almost anything in the world, I decided that we had to lead everyone else in our group...because sometimes people don't paddle fast enough. I'm also going to take a moment to mention the Australian in our group. He had many tattoos to go with his insane sunburn. The reason I bring him up is because on one side of his ribs he tattooed the word "asshole". When asked why by one of the girls in our group, he said it was so people would know what they were getting. At least he was honest.
We paddled around the island of Lokrum. Because it's Halloween season and some people get into that, ghost story time! Lokrum is allegedly cursed. There was a huge fire in Dubrovnik in the year 1023 and the people who lived there made a vow to St. Benedict that they would build a monastery if the city was spared. The flames went out very quickly, so the inhabitants followed through, because who wouldn't when St. Benedict saves your city? Later, the French army ordered the monastery be closed, which is when the trouble began. The night before they had to leave the island they held one last Mass. The monks circled the island three times in a single file line with candles turned upside down leaving a trail of wax. They also chanted, "Whosoever claims Lokrum for his own personal pleasure shall be damned!" After the curse was in place, people who tired to live there started dying. One jumped from a window, one drowned, another was killed by a servant. During the day time it's apparently a beautiful place to visit full of botanical gardens, we didn't have time to make the trip. Many locals still claim that the island is cursed, and therefore tell tales of people who visited in the nights and never returned.
Furthermore, there is also a nudist beach on the island. Which brings me to my next story. We were paddling around the island, enjoying the scenery, and I look up and see a large, old, saggy man-butt. Because I wasn't wearing my glasses, I made Prash look. I was right. THEN! The old man turned around, to which I audibly gasped in disgust...yeah, apparently we were closer to the island than we thought because he heard me and I looked away quickly. Very quickly.
We paddled back to shore (we won!). They gave us complimentary wine because it's Croatia and they throw the stuff at you there. We also got the most delicious sandwich probably ever. It was the size of a dinner plate with grilled chicken, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, ketchup, tomatoes, pickles, and corn of all things. Let me just tell you that I still dream of that sandwich. Dream. of. it. I have to stop thinking about it right now because it's going to make me sad. Moving on!
It was a long day so we spent the night in. We were going to watch tv, but when Tom and Jerry wouldn't come in, all we were left with was weird Croatian pregnant-lady phone porn? I mean..it was very confusing. So. No tv for us!
The next day was our last full day in Croatia, which is so sad. Because Croatia was amazing. But we'll get to that.
 |
| Yet another picture from Villa Ana. Sue me. I liked it. |
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